


Happiness is a Journey

by residentraven



Series: X reader one shots [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Love, Making Love, Oral Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/residentraven/pseuds/residentraven
Summary: Here is my go at the November writing event for re-kindled love!Female reader in chapter one, Male reader is chapter two and NB in the third. :)Discord tag: resirach 👻🕸#3699
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader
Series: X reader one shots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976767
Comments: 5
Kudos: 82
Collections: Yagami Yato Fanfic Event: November 2020





	1. Female reader perspective

Your day began like any other, your alarm blaring through the quiet morning, making your ears sting and a groan to pull from your throat. You leaned over to switch off the offending device; glaring at your phone like it had just told you to go and break your leg. It may as well have, you thought to yourself, the idea of going to work making you fall back into your pillows and puff out a sigh. 

You had the same routine that you had perfected over the years and you weren’t unhappy with your life but some part of it just felt unfulfilled, your body incomplete somehow. You had pushed yourself into a successful career, taking on new challenges and promotions and earning a solid reputation for yourself in the veterinary world. You currently worked at a specialist animal hospital; assisting with world first and complicated surgeries. It was a phenomenal team to be a part of and no day was ever dull. When you were working a shift, it could almost be exhilarating; your team and work that you did was inspiring and you could never regret your choice to throw yourself into animal care. You thought that pushing to be a strong career woman, like your mother, would make you feel satisfied. And it did to a certain degree but there was just something missing. You dove yourself into new hobbies. Writing, drawing, reading…fuck you had even taken up running to try and find a routine that stopped your brain from whirling but all these things just acted as distractions. You enjoyed them all, finding they benefited you as a person and you had grown so much. The years hadn’t been kind to you since leaving school; you had a tremendous amount of loss in your family very close together and often felt like you had to deal with it alone. Sure, you were surrounded by supportive friends, family and colleagues but nobody would every truly understand your grief. You often felt alone even when in a room surrounded by people and found yourself craving to just have your own space, some quiet but then you also didn’t want to be on your own. It was like you were stuck between a rock and hard place all the time just finding little ways to keep pushing forward. You kept yourself so busy you could almost convince yourself you were nailing life on your own, you were independent and strong and the decision you had made years ago definitely wasn’t a mistake. 

The word denial floated around in your head. Of course, it was a mistake. Breaking up with Kenma and moving to another country had been the biggest regret of your life. Sure, you had grown exceptionally as a person and perhaps this would have never happened if you didn’t take the plunge to move away and start your career. You were a very different person to who you were three years ago and that was part of the problem. It had very much been the case of right person, wrong time but it had taken you years to realise this. For years you had managed to convince yourself that you had made the right decision and in some ways you had. You just wished you hadn’t had to make such a painful choice to get where you were today but the world was cruel and you couldn’t have it both ways.

Kenma and yourself had been in a relationship from when you turned eighteen; you had met him through a friend and you two had just connected. His quiet personality and gaming obsession spoke to you. You were a big game nerd at heart and, at the time, also a little reserved. You two had started off as friends, playing games together and going out for meals. Nobody had ever made you smile quite as wide as he did and you found yourself quickly falling in love. He had been sweet to you… kind. You lost your virginity to him on a small vacation away to the seaside. He had been gentle at first, treating you like glass but you made love three more times that night, each encounter had been more intense than the last as you both grew in confidence. It made your heart ache to think back to. You couldn’t regret how you had lost your virginity. It had been sweet, almost romantic and with the best person you could imagine. 

You and Kenma had gotten on well, more than well, but you seemed to grow faster than him. You were becoming mature, independent and driven. You were incredibly passionate about anything you threw yourself into and soon you had become focused on that. Suddenly Kenma’s reserved personality became irritating to you. Did he not care about anything? Did he not have any passion? He just seemed so happy to lead a quiet, and to you, unfulfilling life. You found yourself wanting excitement and thrills that you just didn’t get with him anymore. You loved him. There was no denying that. It was a feeling in your chest that made it physically hurt and you would do just about anything for the man but as your personality grew and as the frustrations in your life started to develop, you began to take them out on him. You would snap at him, your bad moods always swinging his way and the way he seemed to just ignore you drove you up the wall. It all built up over months, your relationship becoming shaky and as much as you loved him, you felt yourself feeling trapped by him. This meant that when a letter arrived in the post offering you an opportunity to work with world renowned specialists and train with the best, the decision had been easy for you. The love you felt for him just wasn’t enough anymore. You needed more. Wanted more. So, you left. 

You had told him over dinner, all of your upset spilling out as you told Kenma you already had a place sorted and you would be leaving in a few days. The flight would take you to the other side of the world. You promised to stay in contact but you just weren’t happy anymore. 

It was the first time you ever saw Kenma cry.

It had been two years since you last saw Kenma and over a year since your last message. You had vaguely kept in contact at first and it had almost been too polite, like you were making an effort to appear civil. He would text you happy birthday; you had rung to inform him when your grandfather had passed away, knowing Kenma had been close with the man over the years of your relationship. Eventually, the awkward contact faded and you both moved on. Well, you tried to. 

You huffed again before throwing the covers from your legs, pushing the painful memories from your mind. You’d feel even worse if you started thinking about all the good times you had shared with him, all of those happy moments that you treasured. You had convinced yourself that man was going to be your husband one day but had to face the sad reality that it was never going to happen. Kenma had probably found someone who wasn’t such a bitch anyway. He deserved better. 

You stood in front of your full body mirror, analysing your appearance briefly before going through your morning routine. You did this absentmindedly; the tasks having become habit a long time ago. 

The drive to work was the same and you entered the hospital, changing into your scrubs to start your day of surgeries, your morning coffee was beginning to take the edge off your tiredness as you rolled your shoulders. The morning sped by quickly and you were soon on your break, scanning through your phone. You had a few messages; some groups chats were popping off and it made you laugh as you joined the chaos for a short while. You then received a text from one of your gaming friends, inviting you to a session later that night. You easily accepted, knowing the game would be fun and the conversations silly. Fantasy and gaming were your escapes and the thought of your plans made the rest of your shift easy. 

You excitedly entered your home, throwing your bags onto the floor to sprint up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. You practically threw on your PJs, powering up your PC as you re-dressed, grabbing your headphones and logging onto your account. Your username was anonymous, keeping your true name to yourself. Everyone had their own gamer tag as did you. You went by ‘Boo.’ The nickname had stuck after some of the guys got you with a jump scare on a Halloween gaming session. Some of you knew your real names but there was no pressure. Most people referred to each other by their display names; your group consisting of people from all over the world. The thought made you so happy…oh the power of the internet. It wasn’t lost on you that some of the closet people in your life lived oceans away and you had never met them in person but that didn’t stop you having a fierce connection with them. They were one of your little escapes and you were grateful to have found a group of such like-minded people. 

You joined the voice chat as you loaded up the chosen game for the night. 

“Hey guys!” You greeted happily, receiving several ‘hello’s’ and a singular ‘sup bitch’ which made you snort, your grin wide on your face. 

“Oh, hey Boo!” One of the regular guys called. “We’ve got someone new joining tonight. He should be here in a few.” 

“Cool, cool.” You replied. New people often joined your chaotic friendship group and you were always happy to make a new friend. 

“He’s from Japan. Isn’t that so fucking cool?” 

You grinned; his excitement contagious. 

“Hell yeah! Fuck, I haven’t spoken Japanese in years, it will be sad to see how rusty I’ve gotten!” 

You had a few laughs in response and joined in yourself. Jokes flew through the chat as you waited for everyone to join and you knew that even if the newcomers English were to be broken, everybody would be very supportive and kind. That just was them all over. You felt a heat in your chest as you felt overwhelmed with your love for these guys. Maybe you really would be okay…

“Hi.”

That small, softly spoken word had your world crashing around you as your heart sped up in your chest, thumping against your ribs loudly. You could hear your own heartbeat as your fingers started to tingle and your arms went numb. There was no way it could be…

“Hey Kenma-San! Welcome to the chaos!” One of the guys greeted enthusiastically. Several others said their greetings as you felt the feeling of cold rush over your face and wash over your entire body. Kenma. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Okay let’s go guys. We need everyone on their A game tonight. We’ve got a bitch of a level to get past!” 

Your head eventually registered the words and you willed your limbs to move, grabbing your mouse and desperately trying to focus on the game in front of you. You tried to ignore your shaking as you started the game. The guys in chat speaking freely, Kenma remained quiet and you thought how like him that was. But was it? You didn’t know him anymore. You slapped yourself internally and told yourself to get over it, just play the game. He didn’t know who you were, just a tag named Boo. You just wouldn’t talk. It would be fine. 

The game progressed, the team working together through the level and you soon found yourself getting absorbed. The combination of the enemies nearly kicking your ass and Kenma’s silence made you forget that he was even in the chat as you became enthralled with the game. Your team reached the final boss and the chat started to explode, various curses being shouted through mics as different characters used their advantages in the fight, people screaming at close calls then laughing at the insanity of it. You felt yourself gasp as you watched one of the in-game characters finally kill the boss, landing the final blow. 

“Fuck yeah!” You screamed, your excitement rolling off you in waves as the adrenaline hit you. The group was also making loud noises in response, all buzzing from the win. Eventually the group calmed and a soft voice came through the chat.

“Pudding?” 

You logged out of the call immediately, slamming your laptop closed and ripping your headphones from your head as if they had burned you. You pushed yourself back from your desk, your breath was practically coming out in pants and you started to feel dizzy. You stared into space as shock washed over you… this had to be a bad dream. Your phone buzzing to the side of your laptop pulled you back to reality as your eyes darted to look at it. 

You knew it would be him. Messaging your profile from the group chat and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to move on… you didn’t need to hear about how happy he was without you. Yes, you had broken up with him but hearing it would still hurt. Just hearing his voice had ripped away all the work you fought so hard for. Your confidence and independence pulled a part by a single word. That word he had whispered into your ear as he made love to you. That word he would say with a husky voice in the morning to greet you. That word he had uttered whilst he sobbed as you left.

It was too painful and you couldn’t face it. So, you did what you always had. You ran away. 

You left your phone ignored on your desk as you went to make a bath, jumping to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine while you were at it. You were almost numb as you sank into the hot water, the burn not really registering. You stared at the ceiling and for once, let your mind whirl. You let all the painful memories hit you at once and maybe you were a bit of a masochist but you let yourself daydream about what could have been. What kind of wedding would you have had? Would your children have his eyes or yours? What would Kenma look like as he grew old? You tormented yourself until the tears finally slipped from your eyes. Your body jolted as you let out your silent cries. You gulped down your wine, wiped away your tears and told yourself to get a grip. You had done this to yourself. 

You changed into your nightwear and got yourself ready for bed. You picked up your phone from your desk, opening it. You refused to let yourself read the message as you instantly deleted it. You were not about to lose all the progress you had made. The thought that maybe you could re-kindle what you once had swam around in your mind but you quickly pushed that thought away, telling yourself not to be naïve. You had made that choice and now had to live with the consequences of it. 

The next morning rolled around too quickly and you found yourself following your usual routine as you got ready for work. You went through your pattern a little more numbly this time and found yourself jumping every time your phone went off with a message, your heart racing at the thought he may have messaged you, only for it to drop again when it never was.

You entered work and told yourself to get a grip. The patients needed you. 

You looked at the rota, seeing you were down to assist with one of the specialist soft tissue vets with their consults. You smiled, you loved the discipline and loved the change of pace being front of house as it wasn’t often that you got to do it. You finished your morning coffee and went to find the vet you were working with. 

You joined the vet in the consult room as he debriefed you on the appointments for the day and you smiled, excited to get started. 

“Do you mind going to the waiting room and getting my first appointment please?” The vet asked. You agreed easily; smiling politely. You grabbed the client’s paperwork as you left the room to head to the waiting room. As you reached the doorway you looked down to check the name you would be calling out for and froze. 

About three million versions of the word fuck flew around your head as you stared at the paper in disbelief. What Gods had you personally offended in a previous life to deserve this? 

Your head buzzed for a second as you thought what excuses you could make to the vet to get out of this but you knew there weren’t any and you were a proud person, you wouldn’t lie. Your career came first and you had worked so hard for it; you weren’t about to lose the respect you had gained over your ex- boyfriend. Pulling yourself together, you steeled yourself. 

“Mr Kozume.” You called, trying to not let your shaking effect your voice but internally your heart was having its own salsa dance and trying to rip itself from your chest. 

You saw a blonde rise from his chair, cat carrier in hand. He turned to walk towards you and you had to physically hold yourself back from gasping. His hair had been black back when you dated but it was now bleach blonde, although thick roots showed at the top of his head. He had it tied back in a loose bun, two strands falling from it to frame his slender face. His golden eyes still shone like you remembered although his slender frame looked more filled out and defined, still smaller but definitely more muscular from the years before. He was wearing some ripped skinny jeans, a white tee with a red hoodie thrown over. His white sneakers glided across the room smoothly as he walked up to you. Fuck… he looked so good. 

His eyes glinted slightly with recognition but before he could say anything you muttered out for him to please follow you and had to stop yourself from sprinting back to the consult room, your ex-boyfriend trailing behind you. You heard a small mewl come from the carrier and your ears perked to it and you glanced down at your sheet. 

“Does Kuroo know you named your cat after him?” You tried to start, anxious with the thick atmosphere. 

“Yes.” He answered simply, offering nothing more. 

You gulped down what felt like a sock as you turned your head back and focused on walking. Fucking hell, you chastised yourself. Just stay professional… he clearly doesn’t want to get personal. You kept yourself in awkward silence for the rest of the walk before opening the consult room door for him and showing him through. 

“Ah! Mr Kozume! Thank-you for coming such a long way to have Kuroo treated with us. I hope you had a pleasant journey.” 

Kenma shuffled into the room, placing the cat carrier onto the patient trolley before replying.

“Yes, thank-you.” His voice was almost a whisper as he looked around the room. 

“I have to say, this is probably the furthest I’ve ever had a case referred to. All the way from Japan!” The vet said excitedly, clearly proud his reputation had spread so far. 

“Yes, well I was moving to the UK for work reasons just as Kuroo became ill so it worked out well.” Kenma replied softly, his fingers pushing through the front cage of the carrier to fuss the purring black cat sat inside. 

“What are the chances of that?” The vet said, sounding way to happy for the situation. It didn’t matter to you that the man was completely oblivious to how awkward this was. 

Yeah… what were the chances, you thought sarcastically. 

The consult got started and as usual, you moved to help restrain the patient so the vet could examine them as Kenma answered all of his questions. You kept quiet and focused on the black cat in front of you. You would occasionally whisper reassurances to the cat, a habit you had developed over your career. 

As the vet went to examine Kuroo’s gums, the cat growled and flinched away from the touch. You cooed the beast and readjusted yourself. 

“Mr Kozume would you mind holding Kuroo’s head for me whilst my colleague here supports his body?” 

“Sure.” Kenma agreed quietly, moving to stand the other side of the table across from you. He lifted his hands to hold Kuroo’s head steady and you had to remind yourself how to breath properly as his fingers brushed yours. You told yourself it must be getting hot in the room as heat rushed to your face and your legs shook a little. 

The vet attempted again but the black cat was having none of it, this time going to swipe. You knew you were going to have to change your holding style as you leaned forward to add a tiny amount of your body weight over Kuroo, your chest acting as a barrier for him to feel secure. You kept your eyes on a very interesting spot of fur on the cat’s head as you tried to pretend your face wasn’t inches away from Kenma’s. You could feel his breath blowing through your hair gently. 

The God’s heard your prayers this time and Kuroo allowed himself to be examined. 

You breathed out a quiet sigh of relief as you were able to put the cat back into his carrier and Kenma moved away from you. You could still feel his body heat on your skin from your close proximity and you knew your face was dark with a blush. You refused to look at Kenma as you focused on your patient; you could see from the corner of your eye that he was watching you whilst the vet spoke to him. 

“Right, we are going to admit Kuroo. Could you please take him round back to get him sorted please?” The vet asked you and you could have kissed the man you were so happy. 

“Of course, Sir.” You answered instead, moving a little too enthusiastically to pick up the carrier and leave the room. 

“Please do not forget to return Mr Kozume’s carrier.” He called after you. “He will be waiting in the client room.” 

The God’s really did hate you. 

You procrastinated returning to Kenma. Taking extra time to check Kuroo’s vitals, fussing him for longer than necessary as you labelled him and adding way too many extras to his kennel as you set it up. You desperately looked around for more to do as you placed the cat into his bed but no, that was it. Now you had to return the carrier to your ex. Your ex who was now sat alone in a room waiting for you. 

You walked quickly this time towards the client room, chanting to yourself to get in there, be professional and get out. No need for your usual bright chats like you did with other clients. Just return his carrier and get back to work. 

You entered the room, heart hammering but you plastered a professional smile to your face. Kenma was sat on the sofa in the room, looking at something on his phone when he looked up at the noise as you entered. 

“Your carrier, Mr Kozume.” You said as you reached your arm out to hand it to him.

You saw him frown and what you thought was hurt flashed across his eyes. No, no, you told yourself. Don’t let your hopeful imagination get to you. He wouldn’t care that you were being formal. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, taking the carrier from you. Your fingers brushed against each other slightly as he did and you really must get your watch checked because you swore it just sent a jolt of electric up your arm. 

You smiled politely as he took it, ignoring the heat on your face as you turned to leave. 

“Pudding?” 

Your hand froze on the door handle as you felt another shock burst up your spine and goosebumps prickled your skin. A horrible feeling of dejavu washing over you. You wanted to snap at him…correct him for calling you by the pet name you had used when you were together but found the words caught in your throat. The word sounded so right coming out of him. It rolled off his tongue perfectly and made you forget how to think. 

You slowly turned to face him and found him looking at you softly, if not a little warily. 

“I- “He started but then frowned at himself, his pretty brows pulling together. He looked back up with you and you your own eyes widened. The emotion you saw in them wasn’t one you had ever seen before. They were almost hard, focused. Not their usual lazy and soft colour. It scared you as much as it excited you. 

“I’ve missed you.” He finally said and the air of tension fell away.

You weren’t exactly proud of the way you responded. If anyone ever asked you about it in the future, you would deny is profusely. There’s no way a professional and strong woman like you responded that way. But you did.

You balled your eyes out.

Right in front of Kenma, your walls fell down instantly and all of the pent-up emotions from the years spilled out. The professional fell away and your raw, hidden emotional side clawed its way to the surface violently. You blubbed and blubbed; not even noticing how Kenma moved forward to rub up and down your arms in reassuring movements. You just stood there and cried and Kenma let you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t try to stop you. He said nothing. He just let you cry it out as he watched you and stroked your arms. 

Eventually your sobs turned to hiccups and you wiped at your snotty face as your breathing became a little more regular again and not like a convulsing child. You stuttered out an apology, embarrassed at your outburst and feeling guilty that you had gotten so upset. You didn’t have the right. 

“You have nothing to apologise for, Pudding.” He whispered. “I’m just… not glad to see you like this but I’m… am I wrong to assume you missed me too?” 

You took your gaze from the floor to look him in the eyes. The golden orbs swam with so much love and affection that you felt fresh tears tickle at your eyes as you nodded profusely. 

“Oh, Pudding…” He murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace. Fuck… you didn’t deserve this man. 

“How can you have missed me?” You managed to gasp out. “I was so cruel to you with how I left.”

Kenma hushed you as he rubbed up and down your back, holding you a little too tightly, as if you might try to escape. As if you might run away from him again. 

“I love you, Pudding.” He replied, as if that were an obvious explanation. “I was hurt at first but… I understand. You leaving was the most painful thing to ever happen to me but it forced me to grow. And that is something I am grateful for.” 

You sobbed again. Not only did this man miss you, he somehow found good from your twisted leaving of him. 

“I… I don’t deserve this.” You let out; guilt laced in every word. 

He pulled you back, observing you as he kept his hand on your shoulder. He gaze was hard again, almost angry.

“I won’t hear it.” He said. “I was as much to blame… I didn’t try with you anymore. I got comfortable and I forgot to treasure what was most important to me. I was pushing you away long before you left. I’m sorry for that.” 

You willed yourself to calm again, rubbing at your blotched face. You felt high on emotions; so much had happened today and you were struggling to process. Before you could think too much into it, Kenma spoke again.

“I understand I may be asking a lot here but Pudding… please may I take you on a date? I get it if you don’t, I know you…”

“Yes.” You interrupted him. Not allowing yourself to overthink this and lose him again. 

His eyes widened in slight shock as his lips snapped shut. He looked a little lost, as if he hadn’t expected to get this far and you felt another pang of guilt go across your chest. 

“Why don’t we keep it simple?” You suggested. “You can come to my place for dinner, let me cook for you. Tomorrow night?” 

Kenma smiled one of his rare, beaming smiles as he agreed. You both exchanged numbers and you left the room, remembering your shift. What a day, you thought to yourself. Yet it was only ten am. 

The rest of the day dragged, your mind on Kenma but you eventually found yourself home and the silence as you entered seemed to swallow you. Your brain now had time to think and you had to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Your reality had been cruel so far and you couldn’t quite let yourself believe it was real. Kenma was here and he wanted you. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face at the thought and for the first time since seeing him, you let yourself feel excited. 

You organised yourself for the following day, checking you had all the right ingredients for your meal and that your home was spotless. Your own cat, Sammy, twirled between your legs as you cleaned. Happily humming under your breath. You let yourself daydream this time, hope filling your heart. 

You had a restless sleep, your date plans spinning in your mind as you tossed and turned. You felt like an insecure teenager again pondering on what to wear, how to arrange the rooms and if your dinner choice would be okay. Soon enough, your alarm went off and you huffed, pulling yourself from your bed and sending out a silent thank-you to whoever discovered coffee. 

Work was hell and you swear someone was playing a prank on you by pausing all the clocks. Time dragged the slowest it ever had and you had to question if you had actually died and gotten stuck in purgatory. 

Eventually the work day ended and you sped all the way home, eager to get started on dinner. You rushed out so quickly you had forgotten to change out of your scrubs but you knew work would let you off. Kenma was due at yours in three hours which, according to your calculations, gave you just enough time to get everything you had planned sorted. He had text you a couple of times in the day, asking about how your shift was going and if Kuroo was behaving himself. You had grinned like a school girl at each text, your stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

You put your speakers on as you entered your home, dropping your bags by the door and greeting Sammy. You fixed his dinner first before pulling your own ingredients out from the cupboard to get started. You told yourself you would shower your messy hair and clean up after cooking and would put on a nice face of makeup. No point yet if you were going to get hot cooking.

Time seemed to fly as you cooked, and you belted your heart out to different songs playing as you cooked. You dramatically danced and slid around the room, using your favourite spatula as a mic. You really were in the wrong career, you thought to yourself, should have been an entertainer. Your sarcastic thoughts made you giggle as you continued to dance, picking up Sammy to swing around with you. You smiled wide as you cooked, forgetting the last time you felt this excited. The loud knock from the door had Sammy running out of your arms and you letting out a very brave scream as you jumped. You laughed at yourself, hand on your chest as you moved to pause the music. I wonder who that could be? You looked at the time. 

Shit.

It was time and Kenma was here.

You looked down at yourself, sauce covered scrubs seemed to stare back at you. The creases and stains almost mocking you. Look how fucking stupid you look, your pants singsonged at you. You felt yourself panic further when another knock came at the door. You had to answer it, he might leave otherwise. 

Plans to look good ruined, you made your way over to open the door. 

Kenma was dressed in dark jeans and a deep blue button up shirt. His hair was now loose and falling to his shoulders, he had lined his golden eyes subtly with some black liner and you could smell his cologne. Gods, he looked so good… and he smelt so good. 

You grinned awkwardly at the man, yet another blush rising to your cheeks. Would you ever not feel thermonuclear around him? 

He looked you up and down and a small smirk played at his lips.

“Caught you at a bad time, Pudding?” He teased. 

You ushered him in, squeaking out that you had lost track of time and that he could wait in the living room whilst you quickly showered. Kenma chuckled and did as he was told. 

You left to shower as Kenma sat on the sofa, looking around to admire the room. He felt comfortable, despite the circumstances and he revelled in how much the room smelled of your natural scent. He tapped his knee a little anxiously as he waited for you to return; he wanted to get tonight right. 

You eventually came back, hair still a little damp from your shower. You had gone for jeans and a simple shirt. It was a little casual but the idea of dressing up seemed silly now. 

“Would you like to come through to the kitchen?” You asked. “Dinner is nearly ready.” 

Kenma stood to follow you to the kitchen before taking a seat, as directed, by the counter. 

“It smells amazing, Pudding.” 

You blush at his compliment, shifting to serve up the food. You put the plate in front of him, a glass of water next to it as you then move to sit beside him. There is silence at first but you find it isn’t uncomfortable as you both easily fit into each other’s company and start eating. You eventually fill the silence with idle chit chat, the conversation flowing easily between you. You tell him about your job and the progress you’ve been making and he tells you how his own business has taken off, hence the move to the UK. The gaming company he worked for based there. 

You talk and talk until your plates are empty. You clean up, continuing to chat as you go. You both move to the living room, your glasses of water switched to a small wine each as you lower to sit next to each other. You sit closely, your thigh resting against his. Eventually the conversation naturally dies down and you both find the other staring. You watch his eyes and there’s something silently spoken between you. An understanding and warmth spreads across you and you find yourself breaking eye contact to look at his lips. 

“Pudding…” He whispers, voice husky and low.

“I know…” You whisper back.

Your lips connect and it’s like everything is fixed in that moment. The world doesn’t matter as his soft mouth moves against yours. It’s loving, soft, emotional. It’s Kenma. 

You pull back with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering open to see golden eyes already watching you. The gap between you is small and you feel his sharp breaths mingle with yours. 

You connect again and this time Kenma shifts to face you, moving one hand to cup your face as he deepens the kiss as the other rests on your hip. You feel a simmering fire from each of his touches and move your own hands to gently grip into his hair. You gasp as he swipes your bottom lip and he takes that to his advantage, moving his tongue in to dance with yours. Unlike before in your relationship, he is almost demanding with his kiss and you let him take control of it, enjoying his confidence. He guides his hand from your face to lightly drag his finger along your chin, down the skin of you neck and along your collar bone, making your skin pimple and another gasp to escape your lips. He pulls away to look at you, his eyes filled with lust and love.

“I want you, Pudding.” He breathes out to you and you have to hold back a whimper at his words because, Gods, you want him to.

“Bedroom is down the hall.” You say in response. 

He stands, taking you with him and you wrap your limps around him. Your arms circling his neck and your legs, his waist. You both just look into each other’s eyes as he guides you out of the room. You let out a giggle as Kenma stumbles a couple of times and narrowly misses stepping on Sammy. For once, it’s he that blushes as he let’s out a small curse from tripping but he eventually makes it to your bedroom. He lowers you onto the bed with such care, as if you were a doll. 

You stay sat up as he gently pulls your shirt up and over your arms. He leans in to kiss you as his hands leave feather like touches up your sides, goosebumps following the line. He reaches round to unclasp your bra and you let it fall down as he tugs it to the floor. He moves his kisses from your lips, down you neck and to your chest. He guides you to lie onto you back as his kisses turn a little harder, the pecks becoming nips and gentle sucks on your skin as he moves himself down and across your breasts, leaving teasing licks over your nipples as he goes. He plants open kisses down your stomach and as he reaches the waistband of your jeans, he gently hooks his fingers into them and tugs them slowly down your legs. He guides your underwear with them. He stands as he pulls them off you fully, throwing them off to the side. You lay back, completely exposed to him and can’t help the heat that spreads from your face and down your chest from his stare.

“You are so exceptionally beautiful, Pudding.” He says breathlessly as he drinks you in.

“So are you.” You whisper and you mean those words with a conviction that has your heart clenching because this man truly was stunning. Both inside and out. He was just so perfect. So…Kenma.

You sat up again, moving your hands to unbuckle his belt as you kept your head tilted up to watch him. He let you take his jeans off, his bulge now prominent in his boxers. You ignored them for now, moving to stand. You wanted to make him feel as loved as he should. You copied his actions, lifting his shirt up and over his arms as he moved to assist you. Between clothing you both just watched each other, your breathing almost calm as you took each other in. You eventually guided his boxers down too, planting a small kiss to his thigh as you did. Not meant to be teasing but an intimate gesture as you undressed him. Once he was fully naked you stood back up. For a moment, you both just stood there, the only sounds filling the room was your breathing. The room was lit only by moonlight and it cast Kenma in a beautiful glow, his eyes appearing even sharper as he watched you.

Kenma eventually moved to clasp one of his hands in yours as he took a step forward, gently knocking you back on to the bed. You crawled backwards to make space for him and Kenma crawled towards you like a cat to his prey as he eyed you. He began kissing up your thighs as he moved, making your breath hitch. He left marks this time, sucking at the sensitive skin. He gripped your thighs with his hands as he spread you open. He kissed up until his breath brushed over your sex. You were more panting rather than breathing now as you watched him. He gave your clit a kiss, keeping eye contact with you and you let out a low moan. 

“Does my Pudding want to feel good?” He asked, a teasing glint forming in his eyes. You felt a little shock at his words. Kenma had never been one to talk much in bed before, let alone be teasing and you found yourself nodding almost frantically, wet already from the anticipation. 

Kenma kissed at your thigh again before leaving a gentle, reprimanding bite.

“Use your words, Pudding.” 

Your breath hitched and your body shuddered in response to his words. 

“Yes… I would like to feel good.” You whispered. “I want you to make me feel good.” 

He smirked before sticking his tongue out and licking you from the bottom of your entrance, up to your clit where he then teased a circle into the nub. 

You let out another moan, this one much louder than the last as your hands flew into his hair. 

He continued to move his tongue in circles on you as his fingers made there way to your entrance and he easily pushed two in. Your arousal was practically dripping out of you and you clenched around his digits, loving the sensation. Loving how right he felt. He continued to play with you, pulling small moans and whimpers from you as he took his time.

Kenma then gently pulled his fingers from you and kissed your sex. You let out a whine at the loss but Kenma moved up to kiss your lips, silencing any complaints. 

“I want you to cum with me inside you.” He whispered into your ear, nipping lightly at the lobe. 

You pulled your arms to wrap around his arms and back as you spread your legs. 

“Make love to me, Kenma.” Your words came out breath and needy as you throbbed for him to be inside you. 

Kenma nuzzled his nose against yours as he held either side of your face, his elbows supporting his weight as his entire body draped over yours. He moved his hips down and you felt his cock poke at your entrance. You moved one of your hands to wrap around him and guide him into you. He let out a stuttered gasp as he slowly sank into your warmth, savouring each inch as he took his time pushing into you. 

Once he was fully sheathed in you, he littered you face in gentle kisses. You didn’t say anything, just enjoyed the sensation of feeling so full and Kenma’s body heat radiating into you. You felt safe and overwhelmingly in love. 

He eventually started moving his hips, keeping a gentle, almost lazy pace as he fucked you. You let out a moan as he moved, his pace meaning you spasmed at every movement, your body clenching for more. He took his time, savouring your body as his hips gently rocked into you. His kisses got wetter as he made your lips swollen and neck red. 

“Please go faster.” You begged, enjoying the sensation but the build up of heat in tour abdomen was so slow it was almost torturous. 

Kenma looked down at your face, it was twisted in pleasure and a few small frustrated tears were perched on your lashes.

“You look so beautiful when you beg, Pudding.” Kenma breathed, picking up his pace ever so slightly but it was still kept steady, just fast enough for the pleasure to build. 

His hips kept rocking into you as his gasps and quiet moans filled your ears as he moved to rest his face in the crook of your neck, his own body twitching slightly as he enjoyed the feeling of your clenching pussy around him. 

Your orgasm built up slowly, creeping from your stomach and sending heat up your spine. Your legs began to feel tingly and your breathing came out in gasps. When it did finally hit you; it wasn’t with a crash. It didn’t make you scream or tremble; you didn’t feel out of control. It tumbled over you like a gentle wave, making you feel light headed as it slowly washed over you. It seemed to last forever, each slow thrust stretching it out. Your mouth staying a gape as you contracted around Kenma. A few slow thrusts later and he followed you, gasping into your ear as he kisses your cheek and down your neck. You could feel the warmth as he filled you and it made your legs wrap around him tightly, holding him impossibly close.

After a few moments he lifted his head to look into your eyes, his own were slightly watery, filled with emotion.

“I love you so much.” He whispered against your lips.

And just like that, everything fell into place. 

No, it wouldn’t be perfect and there were definitely going to be difficult times but this time… this time you would work through it. You would fight like you always had but this time you wouldn’t be alone. You would go to battle with Kenma at you side. You whispered your love for him back, knowing the ride wasn’t going to be easy but that was okay.

It was okay because happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.


	2. Male reader perspective

Your day began like any other, your alarm blaring through the quiet morning, making your ears sting and a groan to pull from your throat. You leaned over to switch off the offending device; glaring at your phone like it had just told you to go and break your leg. It may as well have, you thought to yourself, the idea of going to work making you fall back into your pillows and puff out a sigh. 

You had the same routine that you had perfected over the years and you weren’t unhappy with your life but some part of it just felt unfulfilled, your body incomplete somehow. You had pushed yourself into a successful career, taking on new challenges and promotions and earning a solid reputation for yourself in the veterinary world. You currently worked at a specialist animal hospital; assisting with world first and complicated surgeries. It was a phenomenal team to be a part of and no day was ever dull. When you were working a shift, it could almost be exhilarating; your team and work that you did was inspiring and you could never regret your choice to throw yourself into animal care. You thought that pushing to be a strong career person, like your mother, would make you feel satisfied. And it did to a certain degree but there was just something missing. You dove yourself into new hobbies. Writing, drawing, reading…fuck you had even taken up running to try and find a routine that stopped your brain from whirling but all these things just acted as distractions. You enjoyed them all, finding they benefited you as a person and you had grown so much. The years hadn’t been kind to you since leaving school; you had a tremendous amount of loss in your family very close together and often felt like you had to deal with it alone. Sure, you were surrounded by supportive friends, family and colleagues but nobody would every truly understand your grief. You often felt alone even when in a room surrounded by people and found yourself craving to just have your own space, some quiet but then you also didn’t want to be on your own. It was like you were stuck between a rock and hard place all the time just finding little ways to keep pushing forward. You kept yourself so busy you could almost convince yourself you were nailing life on your own, you were independent and strong and the decision you had made years ago definitely wasn’t a mistake. 

The word denial floated around in your head. Of course, it was a mistake. Breaking up with Kenma and moving to another country had been the biggest regret of your life. Sure, you had grown exceptionally as a person and perhaps this would have never happened if you didn’t take the plunge to move away and start your career. You were a very different person to who you were three years ago and that was part of the problem. It had very much been the case of right person, wrong time but it had taken you years to realise this. For years you had managed to convince yourself that you had made the right decision and in some ways you had. You just wished you hadn’t had to make such a painful choice to get where you were today but the world was cruel and you couldn’t have it both ways.

Kenma and yourself had been in a relationship from when you turned eighteen; you had met him through a friend and you two had just connected. His quiet personality and gaming obsession spoke to you. You were a big game nerd at heart and, at the time, also a little reserved. You two had started off as friends, playing games together and going out for meals. Nobody had ever made you smile quite as wide as he did and you found yourself quickly falling in love. He had been sweet to you… kind. You lost your virginity to him on a small vacation away to the seaside. He had been gentle at first, treating you like glass but you made love three more times that night, each encounter had been more intense than the last as you both grew in confidence. It made your heart ache to think back to. You couldn’t regret how you had lost your virginity. It had been sweet, almost romantic and with the best person you could imagine. 

You and Kenma had gotten on well, more than well, but you seemed to grow faster than him. You were becoming mature, independent and driven. You were incredibly passionate about anything you threw yourself into and soon you had become focused on that. Suddenly Kenma’s reserved personality became irritating to you. Did he not care about anything? Did he not have any passion? He just seemed so happy to lead a quiet, and to you, unfulfilling life. You found yourself wanting excitement and thrills that you just didn’t get with him anymore. You loved him. There was no denying that. It was a feeling in your chest that made it physically hurt and you would do just about anything for the man but as your personality grew and as the frustrations in your life started to develop, you began to take them out on him. You would snap at him, your bad moods always swinging his way and the way he seemed to just ignore you drove you up the wall. It all built up over months, your relationship becoming shaky and as much as you loved him, you felt yourself feeling trapped by him. This meant that when a letter arrived in the post offering you an opportunity to work with world renowned specialists and train with the best, the decision had been easy for you. The love you felt for him just wasn’t enough anymore. You needed more. Wanted more. So, you left. 

You had told him over dinner, all of your upset spilling out as you told Kenma you already had a place sorted and you would be leaving in a few days. The flight would take you to the other side of the world. You promised to stay in contact but you just weren’t happy anymore. 

It was the first time you ever saw Kenma cry.

It had been two years since you last saw Kenma and over a year since your last message. You had vaguely kept in contact at first and it had almost been too polite, like you were making an effort to appear civil. He would text you happy birthday; you had rung to inform him when your grandfather had passed away, knowing Kenma had been close with the man over the years of your relationship. Eventually, the awkward contact faded and you both moved on. Well, you tried to. 

You huffed again before throwing the covers from your legs, pushing the painful memories from your mind. You’d feel even worse if you started thinking about all the good times you had shared with him, all of those happy moments that you treasured. You had convinced yourself that man was going to be your husband one day but had to face the sad reality that it was never going to happen. Kenma had probably found someone who wasn’t such a bitch anyway. He deserved better. 

You stood in front of your full body mirror, analysing your appearance briefly before going through your morning routine. You did this absentmindedly; the tasks having become habit a long time ago. 

The drive to work was the same and you entered the hospital, changing into your scrubs to start your day of surgeries, your morning coffee was beginning to take the edge off your tiredness as you rolled your shoulders. The morning sped by quickly and you were soon on your break, scanning through your phone. You had a few messages; some groups chats were popping off and it made you laugh as you joined the chaos for a short while. You then received a text from one of your gaming friends, inviting you to a session later that night. You easily accepted, knowing the game would be fun and the conversations silly. Fantasy and gaming were your escapes and the thought of your plans made the rest of your shift easy. 

You excitedly entered your home, throwing your bags onto the floor to sprint up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. You practically threw on your PJs, powering up your PC as you re-dressed, grabbing your headphones and logging onto your account. Your username was anonymous, keeping your true name to yourself. Everyone had their own gamer tag as did you. You went by ‘Boo.’ The nickname had stuck after some of the guys got you with a jump scare on a Halloween gaming session. Some of you knew your real names but there was no pressure. Most people referred to each other by their display names; your group consisting of people from all over the world. The thought made you so happy…oh the power of the internet. It wasn’t lost on you that some of the closet people in your life lived oceans away and you had never met them in person but that didn’t stop you having a fierce connection with them. They were one of your little escapes and you were grateful to have found a group of such like-minded people. 

You joined the voice chat as you loaded up the chosen game for the night. 

“Hey guys!” You greeted happily, receiving several ‘hello’s’ and a singular ‘sup bitch’ which made you snort, your grin wide on your face. 

“Oh, hey Boo!” One of the regular guys called. “We’ve got someone new joining tonight. He should be here in a few.” 

“Cool, cool.” You replied. New people often joined your chaotic friendship group and you were always happy to make a new friend. 

“He’s from Japan. Isn’t that so fucking cool?” 

You grinned; his excitement contagious. 

“Hell yeah! Fuck, I haven’t spoken Japanese in years, it will be sad to see how rusty I’ve gotten!” 

You had a few laughs in response and joined in yourself. Jokes flew through the chat as you waited for everyone to join and you knew that even if the newcomers English were to be broken, everybody would be very supportive and kind. That just was them all over. You felt a heat in your chest as you felt overwhelmed with your love for these guys. Maybe you really would be okay…

“Hi.”

That small, softly spoken word had your world crashing around you as your heart sped up in your chest, thumping against your ribs loudly. You could hear your own heartbeat as your fingers started to tingle and your arms went numb. There was no way it could be…

“Hey Kenma-San! Welcome to the chaos!” One of the guys greeted enthusiastically. Several others said their greetings as you felt the feeling of cold rush over your face and wash over your entire body. Kenma. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Okay let’s go guys. We need everyone on their A game tonight. We’ve got a bitch of a level to get past!” 

Your head eventually registered the words and you willed your limbs to move, grabbing your mouse and desperately trying to focus on the game in front of you. You tried to ignore your shaking as you started the game. The guys in chat speaking freely, Kenma remained quiet and you thought how like him that was. But was it? You didn’t know him anymore. You slapped yourself internally and told yourself to get over it, just play the game. He didn’t know who you were, just a tag named Boo. You just wouldn’t talk. It would be fine. 

The game progressed, the team working together through the level and you soon found yourself getting absorbed. The combination of the enemies nearly kicking your ass and Kenma’s silence made you forget that he was even in the chat as you became enthralled with the game. Your team reached the final boss and the chat started to explode, various curses being shouted through mics as different characters used their advantages in the fight, people screaming at close calls then laughing at the insanity of it. You felt yourself gasp as you watched one of the in-game characters finally kill the boss, landing the final blow. 

“Fuck yeah!” You screamed, your excitement rolling off you in waves as the adrenaline hit you. The group was also making loud noises in response, all buzzing from the win. Eventually the group calmed and a soft voice came through the chat.

“Pudding?” 

You logged out of the call immediately, slamming your laptop closed and ripping your headphones from your head as if they had burned you. You pushed yourself back from your desk, your breath was practically coming out in pants and you started to feel dizzy. You stared into space as shock washed over you… this had to be a bad dream. Your phone buzzing to the side of your laptop pulled you back to reality as your eyes darted to look at it. 

You knew it would be him. Messaging your profile from the group chat and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to move on… you didn’t need to hear about how happy he was without you. Yes, you had broken up with him but hearing it would still hurt. Just hearing his voice had ripped away all the work you fought so hard for. Your confidence and independence pulled a part by a single word. That word he had whispered into your ear as he made love to you. That word he would say with a husky voice in the morning to greet you. That word he had uttered whilst he sobbed as you left.

It was too painful and you couldn’t face it. So, you did what you always had. You ran away. 

You left your phone ignored on your desk as you went to make a bath, jumping to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine while you were at it. You were almost numb as you sank into the hot water, the burn not really registering. You stared at the ceiling and for once, let your mind whirl. You let all the painful memories hit you at once and maybe you were a bit of a masochist but you let yourself daydream about what could have been. What kind of wedding would you have had? How many children would you have? What would Kenma look like as he grew old? You tormented yourself until the tears finally slipped from your eyes. Your body jolted as you let out your silent cries. You gulped down your wine, wiped away your tears and told yourself to get a grip. You had done this to yourself. 

You changed into your nightwear and got yourself ready for bed. You picked up your phone from your desk, opening it. You refused to let yourself read the message as you instantly deleted it. You were not about to lose all the progress you had made. The thought that maybe you could re-kindle what you once had swam around in your mind but you quickly pushed that thought away, telling yourself not to be naïve. You had made that choice and now had to live with the consequences of it. 

The next morning rolled around too quickly and you found yourself following your usual routine as you got ready for work. You went through your pattern a little more numbly this time and found yourself jumping every time your phone went off with a message, your heart racing at the thought he may have messaged you, only for it to drop again when it never was.

You entered work and told yourself to get a grip. The patients needed you. 

You looked at the rota, seeing you were down to assist with one of the specialist soft tissue vets with their consults. You smiled, you loved the discipline and loved the change of pace being front of house as it wasn’t often that you got to do it. You finished your morning coffee and went to find the vet you were working with. 

You joined the vet in the consult room as he debriefed you on the appointments for the day and you smiled, excited to get started. 

“Do you mind going to the waiting room and getting my first appointment please?” The vet asked. You agreed easily; smiling politely. You grabbed the client’s paperwork as you left the room to head to the waiting room. As you reached the doorway you looked down to check the name you would be calling out for and froze. 

About three million versions of the word fuck flew around your head as you stared at the paper in disbelief. What Gods had you personally offended in a previous life to deserve this? 

Your head buzzed for a second as you thought what excuses you could make to the vet to get out of this but you knew there weren’t any and you were a proud person, you wouldn’t lie. Your career came first and you had worked so hard for it; you weren’t about to lose the respect you had gained over your ex- boyfriend. Pulling yourself together, you steeled yourself. 

“Mr Kozume.” You called, trying to not let your shaking effect your voice but internally your heart was having its own salsa dance and trying to rip itself from your chest. 

You saw a blonde rise from his chair, cat carrier in hand. He turned to walk towards you and you had to physically hold yourself back from gasping. His hair had been black back when you dated but it was now bleach blonde, although thick roots showed at the top of his head. He had it tied back in a loose bun, two strands falling from it to frame his slender face. His golden eyes still shone like you remembered although his slender frame looked more filled out and defined, still smaller but definitely more muscular from the years before. He was wearing some ripped skinny jeans, a white tee with a red hoodie thrown over. His white sneakers glided across the room smoothly as he walked up to you. Fuck… he looked so good. 

His eyes glinted slightly with recognition but before he could say anything you muttered out for him to please follow you and had to stop yourself from sprinting back to the consult room, your ex-boyfriend trailing behind you. You heard a small mewl come from the carrier and your ears perked to it and you glanced down at your sheet. 

“Does Kuroo know you named your cat after him?” You tried to start, anxious with the thick atmosphere. 

“Yes.” He answered simply, offering nothing more. 

You gulped down what felt like a sock as you turned your head back and focused on walking. Fucking hell, you chastised yourself. Just stay professional… he clearly doesn’t want to get personal. You kept yourself in awkward silence for the rest of the walk before opening the consult room door for him and showing him through. 

“Ah! Mr Kozume! Thank-you for coming such a long way to have Kuroo treated with us. I hope you had a pleasant journey.” 

Kenma shuffled into the room, placing the cat carrier onto the patient trolley before replying.

“Yes, thank-you.” His voice was almost a whisper as he looked around the room. 

“I have to say, this is probably the furthest I’ve ever had a case referred to. All the way from Japan!” The vet said excitedly, clearly proud his reputation had spread so far. 

“Yes, well I was moving to the UK for work reasons just as Kuroo became ill so it worked out well.” Kenma replied softly, his fingers pushing through the front cage of the carrier to fuss the purring black cat sat inside. 

“What are the chances of that?” The vet said, sounding way too happy for the situation. It didn’t matter to you that the man was completely oblivious to how awkward this was. 

Yeah… what were the chances, you thought sarcastically. 

The consult got started and as usual, you moved to help restrain the patient so the vet could examine them as Kenma answered all of his questions. You kept quiet and focused on the black cat in front of you. You would occasionally whisper reassurances to the cat, a habit you had developed over your career. 

As the vet went to examine Kuroo’s gums, the cat growled and flinched away from the touch. You cooed the beast and readjusted yourself. 

“Mr Kozume would you mind holding Kuroo’s head for me whilst my colleague here supports his body?” 

“Sure.” Kenma agreed quietly, moving to stand the other side of the table across from you. He lifted his hands to hold Kuroo’s head steady and you had to remind yourself how to breath properly as his fingers brushed yours. You told yourself it must be getting hot in the room as heat rushed to your face and your legs shook a little. 

The vet attempted again but the black cat was having none of it, this time going to swipe. You knew you were going to have to change your holding style as you leaned forward to add a tiny amount of your body weight over Kuroo, your chest acting as a barrier for him to feel secure. You kept your eyes on a very interesting spot of fur on the cat’s head as you tried to pretend your face wasn’t inches away from Kenma’s. You could feel his breath blowing through your hair gently. 

The God’s heard your prayers this time and Kuroo allowed himself to be examined. 

You breathed out a quiet sigh of relief as you were able to put the cat back into his carrier and Kenma moved away from you. You could still feel his body heat on your skin from your close proximity and you knew your face was dark with a blush. You refused to look at Kenma as you focused on your patient; you could see from the corner of your eye that he was watching you whilst the vet spoke to him. 

“Right, we are going to admit Kuroo. Could you please take him round back to get him sorted please?” The vet asked you and you could have kissed the man you were so happy. 

“Of course, Sir.” You answered instead, moving a little too enthusiastically to pick up the carrier and leave the room. 

“Please do not forget to return Mr Kozume’s carrier.” He called after you. “He will be waiting in the client room.” 

The God’s really did hate you. 

You procrastinated returning to Kenma. Taking extra time to check Kuroo’s vitals, fussing him for longer than necessary as you labelled him and adding way too many extras to his kennel as you set it up. You desperately looked around for more to do as you placed the cat into his bed but no, that was it. Now you had to return the carrier to your ex. Your ex who was now sat alone in a room waiting for you. 

You walked quickly this time towards the client room, chanting to yourself to get in there, be professional and get out. No need for your usual bright chats like you did with other clients. Just return his carrier and get back to work. 

You entered the room, heart hammering but you plastered a professional smile to your face. Kenma was sat on the sofa in the room, looking at something on his phone when he looked up at the noise as you entered. 

“Your carrier, Mr Kozume.” You said as you reached your arm out to hand it to him.

You saw him frown and what you thought was hurt flashed across his eyes. No, no, you told yourself. Don’t let your hopeful imagination get to you. He wouldn’t care that you were being formal. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, taking the carrier from you. Your fingers brushed against each other slightly as he did and you really must get your watch checked because you swore it just sent a jolt of electric up your arm. 

You smiled politely as he took it, ignoring the heat on your face as you turned to leave. 

“Pudding?” 

Your hand froze on the door handle as you felt another shock burst up your spine and goosebumps prickled your skin. A horrible feeling of dejavu washing over you. You wanted to snap at him…correct him for calling you by the pet name you had used when you were together but found the words caught in your throat. The word sounded so right coming out of him. It rolled off his tongue perfectly and made you forget how to think. 

You slowly turned to face him and found him looking at you softly, if not a little warily. 

“I- “He started but then frowned at himself, his pretty brows pulling together. He looked back up with you and your own eyes widened. The emotion you saw in them wasn’t one you had ever seen before. They were almost hard, focused. Not their usual lazy and soft colour. It scared you as much as it excited you. 

“I’ve missed you.” He finally said and the air of tension fell away.

You weren’t exactly proud of the way you responded. If anyone ever asked you about it in the future, you would deny is profusely. There’s no way a professional and strong man like you responded that way. But you did.

You balled your eyes out.

Right in front of Kenma, your walls fell down instantly and all of the pent-up emotions from the years spilled out. The professional fell away and your raw, hidden emotional side clawed its way to the surface violently. You blubbed and blubbed; not even noticing how Kenma moved forward to rub up and down your arms in reassuring movements. You just stood there and cried and Kenma let you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t try to stop you. He said nothing. He just let you cry it out as he watched you and stroked your arms. 

Eventually your sobs turned to hiccups and you wiped at your snotty face as your breathing became a little more regular again and not like a convulsing child. You stuttered out an apology, embarrassed at your outburst and feeling guilty that you had gotten so upset. You didn’t have the right. 

“You have nothing to apologise for, Pudding.” He whispered. “I’m just… not glad to see you like this but I’m… am I wrong to assume you missed me too?” 

You took your gaze from the floor to look him in the eyes. The golden orbs swam with so much love and affection that you felt fresh tears tickle at your eyes as you nodded profusely. 

“Oh, Pudding…” He murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace. Fuck… you didn’t deserve this man. 

“How can you have missed me?” You managed to gasp out. “I was so cruel to you with how I left.”

Kenma hushed you as he rubbed up and down your back, holding you a little too tightly, as if you might try to escape. As if you might run away from him again. 

“I love you, Pudding.” He replied, as if that were an obvious explanation. “I was hurt at first but… I understand. You leaving was the most painful thing to ever happen to me but it forced me to grow. And that is something I am grateful for.” 

You sobbed again. Not only did this man miss you, he somehow found good from your twisted leaving of him. 

“I… I don’t deserve this.” You let out; guilt laced in every word. 

He pulled you back, observing you as he kept his hand on your shoulder. He gaze was hard again, almost angry.

“I won’t hear it.” He said. “I was as much to blame… I didn’t try with you anymore. I got comfortable and I forgot to treasure what was most important to me. I was pushing you away long before you left. I’m sorry for that.” 

You willed yourself to calm again, rubbing at your blotched face. You felt high on emotions; so much had happened today and you were struggling to process. Before you could think too much into it, Kenma spoke again.

“I understand I may be asking a lot here but Pudding… please may I take you on a date? I get it if you don’t, I know you…”

“Yes.” You interrupted him. Not allowing yourself to overthink this and lose him again. 

His eyes widened in slight shock as his lips snapped shut. He looked a little lost, as if he hadn’t expected to get this far and you felt another pang of guilt go across your chest. 

“Why don’t we keep it simple?” You suggested. “You can come to my place for dinner, let me cook for you. Tomorrow night?” 

Kenma smiled one of his rare, beaming smiles as he agreed. You both exchanged numbers and you left the room, remembering your shift. What a day, you thought to yourself. Yet it was only ten am. 

The rest of the day dragged, your mind on Kenma but you eventually found yourself home and the silence as you entered seemed to swallow you. Your brain now had time to think and you had to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Your reality had been cruel so far and you couldn’t quite let yourself believe it was real. Kenma was here and he wanted you. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face at the thought and for the first time since seeing him, you let yourself feel excited. 

You organised yourself for the following day, checking you had all the right ingredients for your meal and that your home was spotless. Your own cat, Sammy, twirled between your legs as you cleaned. Happily humming under your breath. You let yourself daydream this time, hope filling your heart. 

You had a restless sleep, your date plans spinning in your mind as you tossed and turned. You felt like an insecure teenager again pondering on what to wear, how to arrange the rooms and if your dinner choice would be okay. Soon enough, your alarm went off and you huffed, pulling yourself from your bed and sending out a silent thank-you to whoever discovered coffee. 

Work was hell and you swear someone was playing a prank on you by pausing all the clocks. Time dragged the slowest it ever had and you had to question if you had actually died and gotten stuck in purgatory. 

Eventually the work day ended and you sped all the way home, eager to get started on dinner. You rushed out so quickly you had forgotten to change out of your scrubs but you knew work would let you off. Kenma was due at yours in three hours which, according to your calculations, gave you just enough time to get everything you had planned sorted. He had text you a couple of times in the day, asking about how your shift was going and if Kuroo was behaving himself. You had grinned like a school kid at each text, your stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

You put your speakers on as you entered your home, dropping your bags by the door and greeting Sammy. You fixed his dinner first before pulling your own ingredients out from the cupboard to get started. You told yourself you would shower your messy hair and clean up after cooking and would make yourself look nice. No point yet if you were going to get hot cooking.

Time seemed to fly as you cooked, and you belted your heart out to different songs playing as you cooked. You dramatically danced and slid around the room, using your favourite spatula as a mic. You really were in the wrong career, you thought to yourself, should have been an entertainer. Your sarcastic thoughts made you giggle as you continued to dance, picking up Sammy to swing around with you. You smiled wide as you cooked, forgetting the last time you felt this excited. The loud knock from the door had Sammy running out of your arms and you letting out a very manly scream as you jumped. You laughed at yourself, hand on your chest as you moved to pause the music. I wonder who that could be? You looked at the time. 

Shit.

It was time and Kenma was here.

You looked down at yourself, sauce covered scrubs seemed to stare back at you. The creases and stains almost mocking you. Look how fucking stupid you look, your pants singsonged at you. You felt yourself panic further when another knock came at the door. You had to answer it, he might leave otherwise. 

Plans to look good ruined, you made your way over to open the door. 

Kenma was dressed in dark jeans and a deep blue button up shirt. His hair was now loose and falling to his shoulders, he had lined his golden eyes subtly with some black liner and you could smell his cologne. Gods, he looked so good… and he smelt so good. 

You grinned awkwardly at the man, yet another blush rising to your cheeks. Would you ever not feel thermonuclear around him? 

He looked you up and down and a small smirk played at his lips.

“Caught you at a bad time, Pudding?” He teased. 

You ushered him in, squeaking out that you had lost track of time and that he could wait in the living room whilst you quickly showered. Kenma chuckled and did as he was told. 

You left to shower as Kenma sat on the sofa, looking around to admire the room. He felt comfortable, despite the circumstances and he revelled in how much the room smelled of your natural scent. He tapped his knee a little anxiously as he waited for you to return; he wanted to get tonight right. 

You eventually came back, hair still a little damp from your shower. You had gone for jeans and a simple shirt. It was a little casual but the idea of dressing up seemed silly now. 

“Would you like to come through to the kitchen?” You asked. “Dinner is nearly ready.” 

Kenma stood to follow you to the kitchen before taking a seat, as directed, by the counter. 

“It smells amazing, Pudding.” 

You blush at his compliment, shifting to serve up the food. You put the plate in front of him, a glass of water next to it as you then move to sit beside him. There is silence at first but you find it isn’t uncomfortable as you both easily fit into each other’s company and start eating. You eventually fill the silence with idle chit chat, the conversation flowing easily between you. You tell him about your job and the progress you’ve been making and he tells you how his own business has taken off, hence the move to the UK. The gaming company he worked for based there. 

You talk and talk until your plates are empty. You clean up, continuing to chat as you go. You both move to the living room, your glasses of water switched to a small wine each as you lower to sit next to each other. You sit closely, your thigh resting against his. Eventually the conversation naturally dies down and you both find the other staring. You watch his eyes and there’s something silently spoken between you. An understanding and warmth spreads across you and you find yourself breaking eye contact to look at his lips. 

“Pudding…” He whispers, voice husky and low.

“I know…” You whisper back.

Your lips connect and it’s like everything is fixed in that moment. The world doesn’t matter as his soft mouth moves against yours. It’s loving, soft, emotional. It’s Kenma. 

You pull back with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering open to see golden eyes already watching you. The gap between you is small and you feel his sharp breaths mingle with yours. 

You connect again and this time Kenma shifts to face you, moving one hand to cup your face as he deepens the kiss as the other rests on your hip. You feel a simmering fire from each of his touches and move your own hands to gently grip into his hair. You gasp as he swipes your bottom lip and he takes that to his advantage, moving his tongue in to dance with yours. Unlike before in your relationship, he is almost demanding with his kiss and you let him take control of it, enjoying his confidence. He guides his hand from your face to lightly drag his finger along your chin, down the skin of you neck and along your collar bone, making your skin pimple and another gasp to escape your lips. He pulls away to look at you, his eyes filled with lust and love.

“I want you, Pudding.” He breathes out to you and you have to hold back a whimper at his words because, Gods, you want him to.

“Bedroom is down the hall.” You say in response. 

He stands, taking you with him and you wrap your limps around him. Your arms circling his neck and your legs, his waist. You both just look into each other’s eyes as he guides you out of the room. You let out a giggle as Kenma stumbles a couple of times and narrowly misses stepping on Sammy. For once, it’s he that blushes as he let’s out a small curse from tripping but he eventually makes it to your bedroom. He lowers you onto the bed with such care, as if you were a doll. 

You stay sat up as he gently pulls your shirt up and over your arms. He leans in to kiss you as his hands leave feather like touches up your sides, goosebumps following the line. He moves his kisses from your lips, down you neck and to your chest. He guides you to lie onto you back as his kisses turn a little harder, the pecks becoming nips and gentle sucks on your skin as he moves himself down and across your chest, leaving teasing licks over your nipples as he goes. He plants open kisses down your stomach and as he reaches the waistband of your jeans, he gently hooks his fingers into them and tugs them slowly down your legs. He guides your underwear with them. He stands as he pulls them off you fully, throwing them off to the side. You lay back, completely exposed to him and can’t help the heat that spreads from your face and down your chest from his stare.

“You are so exceptionally beautiful, Pudding.” He says breathlessly as he drinks you in.

“So are you.” You whisper and you mean those words with a conviction that has your heart clenching because this man truly was stunning. Both inside and out. He was just so perfect. So…Kenma.

You sat up again, moving your hands to unbuckle his belt as you kept your head tilted up to watch him. He let you take his jeans off, his bulge now prominent in his boxers. You ignored them for now, moving to stand. You wanted to make him feel as loved as he should. You copied his actions, lifting his shirt up and over his arms as he moved to assist you. Between clothing you both just watched each other, your breathing almost calm as you took each other in. You eventually guided his boxers down too, planting a small kiss to his thigh as you did. Not meant to be teasing but an intimate gesture as you undressed him. Once he was fully naked you stood back up. For a moment, you both just stood there, the only sounds filling the room was your breathing. The room was lit only by moonlight and it cast Kenma in a beautiful glow, his eyes appearing even sharper as he watched you.

Kenma eventually moved to clasp one of his hands in yours as he took a step forward, gently knocking you back on to the bed. You crawled backwards to make space for him and Kenma crawled towards you like a cat to his prey as he eyed you. He began kissing up your thighs as he moved, making your breath hitch. He left marks this time, sucking at the sensitive skin. He gripped your thighs with his hands as he spread you open. He kissed up until his breath brushed over your cock. You were more panting rather than breathing now as you watched him. He gave your tip a kiss, keeping eye contact with you and you let out a low moan. 

“Does my Pudding want to feel good?” He asked, a teasing glint forming in his eyes. You felt a little shock at his words. Kenma had never been one to talk much in bed before, let alone be teasing and you found yourself nodding almost frantically, hard already from the anticipation. 

Kenma kissed at your thigh again before leaving a gentle, reprimanding bite.

“Use your words, Pudding.” 

Your breath hitched and your body shuddered in response to his words. 

“Yes… I would like to feel good.” You whispered. “I want you to make me feel good.” 

He smirked before sticking his tongue out and licking you from the bottom of your cock, up to your tip where he then teased a circle around the sensitive underside. 

You let out another moan, this one much louder than the last as your hands flew into his hair. 

He continued to move his tongue in circles on you as his fingers made there way to your entrance and he lubed them up with his spit before easily pushing two in. You were so aroused, leaking precum profusely and you clenched around his digits, loving the sensation. Loving how right he felt. He continued to play with you, pulling small moans and whimpers from you as he took his time opening you up. 

Kenma then gently pulled his fingers from you and kissed your cock. You let out a whine at the loss but Kenma moved up to kiss your lips, silencing any complaints. 

“I want you to cum with me inside you.” He whispered into your ear, nipping lightly at the lobe. 

You pulled your arms to wrap around his arms and back as you spread your legs. 

“Make love to me, Kenma.” Your words came out breathy and needy as you throbbed for him to be inside you. 

Kenma nuzzled his nose against yours as he held either side of your face, his elbows supporting his weight as his entire body draped over yours. He moved his hips down and you felt his cock poke at your entrance. You moved one of your hands to wrap around him and guide him into you. He let out a stuttered gasp as he slowly sank into your warmth, savouring each inch as he took his time pushing into you. 

Once he was fully sheathed in you, he littered you face in gentle kisses. You didn’t say anything, just enjoyed the sensation of feeling so full and Kenma’s body heat radiating into you. You felt safe and overwhelmingly in love. 

He eventually started moving his hips, keeping a gentle, almost lazy pace as he fucked you. You let out a moan as he moved, his pace meaning you spasmed at every movement, your body clenching for more. He took his time, savouring your body as his hips gently rocked into you. His kisses got wetter as he made your lips swollen and neck red. 

“Please go faster.” You begged, enjoying the sensation but the build up of heat in your abdomen was so slow it was almost torturous. 

Kenma looked down at your face, it was twisted in pleasure and a few small frustrated tears were perched on your lashes.

“You look so beautiful when you beg, Pudding.” Kenma breathed, picking up his pace ever so slightly but it was still kept steady, just fast enough for the pleasure to build. 

His hips kept rocking into you as his gasps and quiet moans filled your ears as he moved to rest his face in the crook of your neck, his own body twitching slightly as he enjoyed the feeling of your clenching hole around him. 

Your orgasm built up slowly, creeping from your stomach and sending heat up your spine. Your legs began to feel tingly and your breathing came out in gasps. When it did finally hit you; it wasn’t with a crash. It didn’t make you scream or tremble; you didn’t feel out of control. It tumbled over you like a gentle wave, making you feel light headed as it slowly washed over you. It seemed to last forever, each slow thrust stretching it out. Your mouth staying a gape as you contracted around Kenma and your cum spurted between the two of you. A few slow thrusts later and he followed you, gasping into your ear as he kisses your cheek and down your neck. You could feel the warmth as he filled you and it made your legs wrap around him tightly, holding him impossibly close.

After a few moments he lifted his head to look into your eyes, his own were slightly watery, filled with emotion.

“I love you so much.” He whispered against your lips.

And just like that, everything fell into place. 

No, it wouldn’t be perfect and there were definitely going to be difficult times but this time… this time you would work through it. You would fight like you always had but this time you wouldn’t be alone. You would go to battle with Kenma at you side. You whispered your love for him back, knowing the ride wasn’t going to be easy but that was okay.

It was okay because happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.


	3. NB reader perspective

Your day began like any other, your alarm blaring through the quiet morning, making your ears sting and a groan to pull from your throat. You leaned over to switch off the offending device; glaring at your phone like it had just told you to go and break your leg. It may as well have, you thought to yourself, the idea of going to work making you fall back into your pillows and puff out a sigh. 

You had the same routine that you had perfected over the years and you weren’t unhappy with your life but some part of it just felt unfulfilled, your body incomplete somehow. You had pushed yourself into a successful career, taking on new challenges and promotions and earning a solid reputation for yourself in the veterinary world. You currently worked at a specialist animal hospital; assisting with world first and complicated surgeries. It was a phenomenal team to be a part of and no day was ever dull. When you were working a shift, it could almost be exhilarating; your team and work that you did was inspiring and you could never regret your choice to throw yourself into animal care. You thought that pushing to be a strong career person, like your mother, would make you feel satisfied. And it did to a certain degree but there was just something missing. You dove yourself into new hobbies. Writing, drawing, reading…fuck you had even taken up running to try and find a routine that stopped your brain from whirling but all these things just acted as distractions. You enjoyed them all, finding they benefited you as a person and you had grown so much. The years hadn’t been kind to you since leaving school; you had a tremendous amount of loss in your family very close together and often felt like you had to deal with it alone. Sure, you were surrounded by supportive friends, family and colleagues but nobody would every truly understand your grief. You often felt alone even when in a room surrounded by people and found yourself craving to just have your own space, some quiet but then you also didn’t want to be on your own. It was like you were stuck between a rock and hard place all the time just finding little ways to keep pushing forward. You kept yourself so busy you could almost convince yourself you were nailing life on your own, you were independent and strong and the decision you had made years ago definitely wasn’t a mistake. 

The word denial floated around in your head. Of course, it was a mistake. Breaking up with Kenma and moving to another country had been the biggest regret of your life. Sure, you had grown exceptionally as a person and perhaps this would have never happened if you didn’t take the plunge to move away and start your career. You were a very different person to who you were three years ago and that was part of the problem. It had very much been the case of right person, wrong time but it had taken you years to realise this. For years you had managed to convince yourself that you had made the right decision and in some ways you had. You just wished you hadn’t had to make such a painful choice to get where you were today but the world was cruel and you couldn’t have it both ways.

Kenma and yourself had been in a relationship from when you turned eighteen; you had met him through a friend and you two had just connected. His quiet personality and gaming obsession spoke to you. You were a big game nerd at heart and, at the time, also a little reserved. You two had started off as friends, playing games together and going out for meals. Nobody had ever made you smile quite as wide as he did and you found yourself quickly falling in love. He had been sweet to you… kind. You lost your virginity to him on a small vacation away to the seaside. He had been gentle at first, treating you like glass but you made love three more times that night, each encounter had been more intense than the last as you both grew in confidence. It made your heart ache to think back to. You couldn’t regret how you had lost your virginity. It had been sweet, almost romantic and with the best person you could imagine. 

You and Kenma had gotten on well, more than well, but you seemed to grow faster than him. You were becoming mature, independent and driven. You were incredibly passionate about anything you threw yourself into and soon you had become focused on that. Suddenly Kenma’s reserved personality became irritating to you. Did he not care about anything? Did he not have any passion? He just seemed so happy to lead a quiet, and to you, unfulfilling life. You found yourself wanting excitement and thrills that you just didn’t get with him anymore. You loved him. There was no denying that. It was a feeling in your chest that made it physically hurt and you would do just about anything for the man but as your personality grew and as the frustrations in your life started to develop, you began to take them out on him. You would snap at him, your bad moods always swinging his way and the way he seemed to just ignore you drove you up the wall. It all built up over months, your relationship becoming shaky and as much as you loved him, you felt yourself feeling trapped by him. This meant that when a letter arrived in the post offering you an opportunity to work with world renowned specialists and train with the best, the decision had been easy for you. The love you felt for him just wasn’t enough anymore. You needed more. Wanted more. So, you left. 

You had told him over dinner, all of your upset spilling out as you told Kenma you already had a place sorted and you would be leaving in a few days. The flight would take you to the other side of the world. You promised to stay in contact but you just weren’t happy anymore. 

It was the first time you ever saw Kenma cry.

It had been two years since you last saw Kenma and over a year since your last message. You had vaguely kept in contact at first and it had almost been too polite, like you were making an effort to appear civil. He would text you happy birthday; you had rung to inform him when your grandfather had passed away, knowing Kenma had been close with the man over the years of your relationship. Eventually, the awkward contact faded and you both moved on. Well, you tried to. 

You huffed again before throwing the covers from your legs, pushing the painful memories from your mind. You’d feel even worse if you started thinking about all the good times you had shared with him, all of those happy moments that you treasured. You had convinced yourself that man was going to be your husband one day but had to face the sad reality that it was never going to happen. Kenma had probably found someone who wasn’t such a bitch anyway. He deserved better. 

You stood in front of your full body mirror, analysing your appearance briefly before going through your morning routine. You did this absentmindedly; the tasks having become habit a long time ago. 

The drive to work was the same and you entered the hospital, changing into your scrubs to start your day of surgeries, your morning coffee was beginning to take the edge off your tiredness as you rolled your shoulders. The morning sped by quickly and you were soon on your break, scanning through your phone. You had a few messages; some groups chats were popping off and it made you laugh as you joined the chaos for a short while. You then received a text from one of your gaming friends, inviting you to a session later that night. You easily accepted, knowing the game would be fun and the conversations silly. Fantasy and gaming were your escapes and the thought of your plans made the rest of your shift easy. 

You excitedly entered your home, throwing your bags onto the floor to sprint up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. You practically threw on your PJs, powering up your PC as you re-dressed, grabbing your headphones and logging onto your account. Your username was anonymous, keeping your true name to yourself. Everyone had their own gamer tag as did you. You went by ‘Boo.’ The nickname had stuck after some of the guys got you with a jump scare on a Halloween gaming session. Some of you knew your real names but there was no pressure. Most people referred to each other by their display names; your group consisting of people from all over the world. The thought made you so happy…oh the power of the internet. It wasn’t lost on you that some of the closet people in your life lived oceans away and you had never met them in person but that didn’t stop you having a fierce connection with them. They were one of your little escapes and you were grateful to have found a group of such like-minded people. 

You joined the voice chat as you loaded up the chosen game for the night. 

“Hey guys!” You greeted happily, receiving several ‘hello’s’ and a singular ‘sup bitch’ which made you snort, your grin wide on your face. 

“Oh, hey Boo!” One of the regular guys called. “We’ve got someone new joining tonight. He should be here in a few.” 

“Cool, cool.” You replied. New people often joined your chaotic friendship group and you were always happy to make a new friend. 

“He’s from Japan. Isn’t that so fucking cool?” 

You grinned; his excitement contagious. 

“Hell yeah! Fuck, I haven’t spoken Japanese in years, it will be sad to see how rusty I’ve gotten!” 

You had a few laughs in response and joined in yourself. Jokes flew through the chat as you waited for everyone to join and you knew that even if the newcomers English were to be broken, everybody would be very supportive and kind. That just was them all over. You felt a heat in your chest as you felt overwhelmed with your love for these guys. Maybe you really would be okay…

“Hi.”

That small, softly spoken word had your world crashing around you as your heart sped up in your chest, thumping against your ribs loudly. You could hear your own heartbeat as your fingers started to tingle and your arms went numb. There was no way it could be…

“Hey Kenma-San! Welcome to the chaos!” One of the guys greeted enthusiastically. Several others said their greetings as you felt the feeling of cold rush over your face and wash over your entire body. Kenma. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Okay let’s go guys. We need everyone on their A game tonight. We’ve got a bitch of a level to get past!” 

Your head eventually registered the words and you willed your limbs to move, grabbing your mouse and desperately trying to focus on the game in front of you. You tried to ignore your shaking as you started the game. The guys in chat speaking freely, Kenma remained quiet and you thought how like him that was. But was it? You didn’t know him anymore. You slapped yourself internally and told yourself to get over it, just play the game. He didn’t know who you were, just a tag named Boo. You just wouldn’t talk. It would be fine. 

The game progressed, the team working together through the level and you soon found yourself getting absorbed. The combination of the enemies nearly kicking your ass and Kenma’s silence made you forget that he was even in the chat as you became enthralled with the game. Your team reached the final boss and the chat started to explode, various curses being shouted through mics as different characters used their advantages in the fight, people screaming at close calls then laughing at the insanity of it. You felt yourself gasp as you watched one of the in-game characters finally kill the boss, landing the final blow. 

“Fuck yeah!” You screamed, your excitement rolling off you in waves as the adrenaline hit you. The group was also making loud noises in response, all buzzing from the win. Eventually the group calmed and a soft voice came through the chat.

“Pudding?” 

You logged out of the call immediately, slamming your laptop closed and ripping your headphones from your head as if they had burned you. You pushed yourself back from your desk, your breath was practically coming out in pants and you started to feel dizzy. You stared into space as shock washed over you… this had to be a bad dream. Your phone buzzing to the side of your laptop pulled you back to reality as your eyes darted to look at it. 

You knew it would be him. Messaging your profile from the group chat and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to move on… you didn’t need to hear about how happy he was without you. Yes, you had broken up with him but hearing it would still hurt. Just hearing his voice had ripped away all the work you fought so hard for. Your confidence and independence pulled a part by a single word. That word he had whispered into your ear as he made love to you. That word he would say with a husky voice in the morning to greet you. That word he had uttered whilst he sobbed as you left.

It was too painful and you couldn’t face it. So, you did what you always had. You ran away. 

You left your phone ignored on your desk as you went to make a bath, jumping to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine while you were at it. You were almost numb as you sank into the hot water, the burn not really registering. You stared at the ceiling and for once, let your mind whirl. You let all the painful memories hit you at once and maybe you were a bit of a masochist but you let yourself daydream about what could have been. What kind of wedding would you have had? How many children would you have? What would Kenma look like as he grew old? You tormented yourself until the tears finally slipped from your eyes. Your body jolted as you let out your silent cries. You gulped down your wine, wiped away your tears and told yourself to get a grip. You had done this to yourself. 

You changed into your nightwear and got yourself ready for bed. You picked up your phone from your desk, opening it. You refused to let yourself read the message as you instantly deleted it. You were not about to lose all the progress you had made. The thought that maybe you could re-kindle what you once had swam around in your mind but you quickly pushed that thought away, telling yourself not to be naïve. You had made that choice and now had to live with the consequences of it. 

The next morning rolled around too quickly and you found yourself following your usual routine as you got ready for work. You went through your pattern a little more numbly this time and found yourself jumping every time your phone went off with a message, your heart racing at the thought he may have messaged you, only for it to drop again when it never was.

You entered work and told yourself to get a grip. The patients needed you. 

You looked at the rota, seeing you were down to assist with one of the specialist soft tissue vets with their consults. You smiled, you loved the discipline and loved the change of pace being front of house as it wasn’t often that you got to do it. You finished your morning coffee and went to find the vet you were working with. 

You joined the vet in the consult room as he debriefed you on the appointments for the day and you smiled, excited to get started. 

“Do you mind going to the waiting room and getting my first appointment please?” The vet asked. You agreed easily; smiling politely. You grabbed the client’s paperwork as you left the room to head to the waiting room. As you reached the doorway you looked down to check the name you would be calling out for and froze. 

About three million versions of the word fuck flew around your head as you stared at the paper in disbelief. What Gods had you personally offended in a previous life to deserve this? 

Your head buzzed for a second as you thought what excuses you could make to the vet to get out of this but you knew there weren’t any and you were a proud person, you wouldn’t lie. Your career came first and you had worked so hard for it; you weren’t about to lose the respect you had gained over your ex- boyfriend. Pulling yourself together, you steeled yourself. 

“Mr Kozume.” You called, trying to not let your shaking effect your voice but internally your heart was having its own salsa dance and trying to rip itself from your chest. 

You saw a blonde rise from his chair, cat carrier in hand. He turned to walk towards you and you had to physically hold yourself back from gasping. His hair had been black back when you dated but it was now bleach blonde, although thick roots showed at the top of his head. He had it tied back in a loose bun, two strands falling from it to frame his slender face. His golden eyes still shone like you remembered although his slender frame looked more filled out and defined, still smaller but definitely more muscular from the years before. He was wearing some ripped skinny jeans, a white tee with a red hoodie thrown over. His white sneakers glided across the room smoothly as he walked up to you. Fuck… he looked so good. 

His eyes glinted slightly with recognition but before he could say anything you muttered out for him to please follow you and had to stop yourself from sprinting back to the consult room, your ex-boyfriend trailing behind you. You heard a small mewl come from the carrier and your ears perked to it and you glanced down at your sheet. 

“Does Kuroo know you named your cat after him?” You tried to start, anxious with the thick atmosphere. 

“Yes.” He answered simply, offering nothing more. 

You gulped down what felt like a sock as you turned your head back and focused on walking. Fucking hell, you chastised yourself. Just stay professional… he clearly doesn’t want to get personal. You kept yourself in awkward silence for the rest of the walk before opening the consult room door for him and showing him through. 

“Ah! Mr Kozume! Thank-you for coming such a long way to have Kuroo treated with us. I hope you had a pleasant journey.” 

Kenma shuffled into the room, placing the cat carrier onto the patient trolley before replying.

“Yes, thank-you.” His voice was almost a whisper as he looked around the room. 

“I have to say, this is probably the furthest I’ve ever had a case referred to. All the way from Japan!” The vet said excitedly, clearly proud his reputation had spread so far. 

“Yes, well I was moving to the UK for work reasons just as Kuroo became ill so it worked out well.” Kenma replied softly, his fingers pushing through the front cage of the carrier to fuss the purring black cat sat inside. 

“What are the chances of that?” The vet said, sounding way too happy for the situation. It didn’t matter to you that the man was completely oblivious to how awkward this was. 

Yeah… what were the chances, you thought sarcastically. 

The consult got started and as usual, you moved to help restrain the patient so the vet could examine them as Kenma answered all of his questions. You kept quiet and focused on the black cat in front of you. You would occasionally whisper reassurances to the cat, a habit you had developed over your career. 

As the vet went to examine Kuroo’s gums, the cat growled and flinched away from the touch. You cooed the beast and readjusted yourself. 

“Mr Kozume would you mind holding Kuroo’s head for me whilst my colleague here supports his body?” 

“Sure.” Kenma agreed quietly, moving to stand the other side of the table across from you. He lifted his hands to hold Kuroo’s head steady and you had to remind yourself how to breath properly as his fingers brushed yours. You told yourself it must be getting hot in the room as heat rushed to your face and your legs shook a little. 

The vet attempted again but the black cat was having none of it, this time going to swipe. You knew you were going to have to change your holding style as you leaned forward to add a tiny amount of your body weight over Kuroo, your chest acting as a barrier for him to feel secure. You kept your eyes on a very interesting spot of fur on the cat’s head as you tried to pretend your face wasn’t inches away from Kenma’s. You could feel his breath blowing through your hair gently. 

The God’s heard your prayers this time and Kuroo allowed himself to be examined. 

You breathed out a quiet sigh of relief as you were able to put the cat back into his carrier and Kenma moved away from you. You could still feel his body heat on your skin from your close proximity and you knew your face was dark with a blush. You refused to look at Kenma as you focused on your patient; you could see from the corner of your eye that he was watching you whilst the vet spoke to him. 

“Right, we are going to admit Kuroo. Could you please take him round back to get him sorted please?” The vet asked you and you could have kissed the man you were so happy. 

“Of course, Sir.” You answered instead, moving a little too enthusiastically to pick up the carrier and leave the room. 

“Please do not forget to return Mr Kozume’s carrier.” He called after you. “He will be waiting in the client room.” 

The God’s really did hate you. 

You procrastinated returning to Kenma. Taking extra time to check Kuroo’s vitals, fussing him for longer than necessary as you labelled him and adding way too many extras to his kennel as you set it up. You desperately looked around for more to do as you placed the cat into his bed but no, that was it. Now you had to return the carrier to your ex. Your ex who was now sat alone in a room waiting for you. 

You walked quickly this time towards the client room, chanting to yourself to get in there, be professional and get out. No need for your usual bright chats like you did with other clients. Just return his carrier and get back to work. 

You entered the room, heart hammering but you plastered a professional smile to your face. Kenma was sat on the sofa in the room, looking at something on his phone when he looked up at the noise as you entered. 

“Your carrier, Mr Kozume.” You said as you reached your arm out to hand it to him.

You saw him frown and what you thought was hurt flashed across his eyes. No, no, you told yourself. Don’t let your hopeful imagination get to you. He wouldn’t care that you were being formal. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, taking the carrier from you. Your fingers brushed against each other slightly as he did and you really must get your watch checked because you swore it just sent a jolt of electric up your arm. 

You smiled politely as he took it, ignoring the heat on your face as you turned to leave. 

“Pudding?” 

Your hand froze on the door handle as you felt another shock burst up your spine and goosebumps prickled your skin. A horrible feeling of dejavu washing over you. You wanted to snap at him…correct him for calling you by the pet name you had used when you were together but found the words caught in your throat. The word sounded so right coming out of him. It rolled off his tongue perfectly and made you forget how to think. 

You slowly turned to face him and found him looking at you softly, if not a little warily. 

“I- “He started but then frowned at himself, his pretty brows pulling together. He looked back up with you and your own eyes widened. The emotion you saw in them wasn’t one you had ever seen before. They were almost hard, focused. Not their usual lazy and soft colour. It scared you as much as it excited you. 

“I’ve missed you.” He finally said and the air of tension fell away.

You weren’t exactly proud of the way you responded. If anyone ever asked you about it in the future, you would deny is profusely. There’s no way a professional and strong person like you responded that way. But you did.

You balled your eyes out.

Right in front of Kenma, your walls fell down instantly and all of the pent-up emotions from the years spilled out. The professional fell away and your raw, hidden emotional side clawed its way to the surface violently. You blubbed and blubbed; not even noticing how Kenma moved forward to rub up and down your arms in reassuring movements. You just stood there and cried and Kenma let you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t try to stop you. He said nothing. He just let you cry it out as he watched you and stroked your arms. 

Eventually your sobs turned to hiccups and you wiped at your snotty face as your breathing became a little more regular again and not like a convulsing child. You stuttered out an apology, embarrassed at your outburst and feeling guilty that you had gotten so upset. You didn’t have the right. 

“You have nothing to apologise for, Pudding.” He whispered. “I’m just… not glad to see you like this but I’m… am I wrong to assume you missed me too?” 

You took your gaze from the floor to look him in the eyes. The golden orbs swam with so much love and affection that you felt fresh tears tickle at your eyes as you nodded profusely. 

“Oh, Pudding…” He murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace. Fuck… you didn’t deserve this man. 

“How can you have missed me?” You managed to gasp out. “I was so cruel to you with how I left.”

Kenma hushed you as he rubbed up and down your back, holding you a little too tightly, as if you might try to escape. As if you might run away from him again. 

“I love you, Pudding.” He replied, as if that were an obvious explanation. “I was hurt at first but… I understand. You leaving was the most painful thing to ever happen to me but it forced me to grow. And that is something I am grateful for.” 

You sobbed again. Not only did this man miss you, he somehow found good from your twisted leaving of him. 

“I… I don’t deserve this.” You let out; guilt laced in every word. 

He pulled you back, observing you as he kept his hand on your shoulder. He gaze was hard again, almost angry.

“I won’t hear it.” He said. “I was as much to blame… I didn’t try with you anymore. I got comfortable and I forgot to treasure what was most important to me. I was pushing you away long before you left. I’m sorry for that.” 

You willed yourself to calm again, rubbing at your blotched face. You felt high on emotions; so much had happened today and you were struggling to process. Before you could think too much into it, Kenma spoke again.

“I understand I may be asking a lot here but Pudding… please may I take you on a date? I get it if you don’t, I know you…”

“Yes.” You interrupted him. Not allowing yourself to overthink this and lose him again. 

His eyes widened in slight shock as his lips snapped shut. He looked a little lost, as if he hadn’t expected to get this far and you felt another pang of guilt go across your chest. 

“Why don’t we keep it simple?” You suggested. “You can come to my place for dinner, let me cook for you. Tomorrow night?” 

Kenma smiled one of his rare, beaming smiles as he agreed. You both exchanged numbers and you left the room, remembering your shift. What a day, you thought to yourself. Yet it was only ten am. 

The rest of the day dragged, your mind on Kenma but you eventually found yourself home and the silence as you entered seemed to swallow you. Your brain now had time to think and you had to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Your reality had been cruel so far and you couldn’t quite let yourself believe it was real. Kenma was here and he wanted you. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face at the thought and for the first time since seeing him, you let yourself feel excited. 

You organised yourself for the following day, checking you had all the right ingredients for your meal and that your home was spotless. Your own cat, Sammy, twirled between your legs as you cleaned. Happily humming under your breath. You let yourself daydream this time, hope filling your heart. 

You had a restless sleep, your date plans spinning in your mind as you tossed and turned. You felt like an insecure teenager again pondering on what to wear, how to arrange the rooms and if your dinner choice would be okay. Soon enough, your alarm went off and you huffed, pulling yourself from your bed and sending out a silent thank-you to whoever discovered coffee. 

Work was hell and you swear someone was playing a prank on you by pausing all the clocks. Time dragged the slowest it ever had and you had to question if you had actually died and gotten stuck in purgatory. 

Eventually the work day ended and you sped all the way home, eager to get started on dinner. You rushed out so quickly you had forgotten to change out of your scrubs but you knew work would let you off. Kenma was due at yours in three hours which, according to your calculations, gave you just enough time to get everything you had planned sorted. He had text you a couple of times in the day, asking about how your shift was going and if Kuroo was behaving himself. You had grinned like a school kid at each text, your stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

You put your speakers on as you entered your home, dropping your bags by the door and greeting Sammy. You fixed his dinner first before pulling your own ingredients out from the cupboard to get started. You told yourself you would shower your messy hair and clean up after cooking and would make yourself look nice. No point yet if you were going to get hot cooking.

Time seemed to fly as you cooked, and you belted your heart out to different songs playing as you cooked. You dramatically danced and slid around the room, using your favourite spatula as a mic. You really were in the wrong career, you thought to yourself, should have been an entertainer. Your sarcastic thoughts made you giggle as you continued to dance, picking up Sammy to swing around with you. You smiled wide as you cooked, forgetting the last time you felt this excited. The loud knock from the door had Sammy running out of your arms and you letting out a very brave scream as you jumped. You laughed at yourself, hand on your chest as you moved to pause the music. I wonder who that could be? You looked at the time. 

Shit.

It was time and Kenma was here.

You looked down at yourself, sauce covered scrubs seemed to stare back at you. The creases and stains almost mocking you. Look how fucking stupid you look, your pants singsonged at you. You felt yourself panic further when another knock came at the door. You had to answer it, he might leave otherwise. 

Plans to look good ruined, you made your way over to open the door. 

Kenma was dressed in dark jeans and a deep blue button up shirt. His hair was now loose and falling to his shoulders, he had lined his golden eyes subtly with some black liner and you could smell his cologne. Gods, he looked so good… and he smelt so good. 

You grinned awkwardly at the man, yet another blush rising to your cheeks. Would you ever not feel thermonuclear around him? 

He looked you up and down and a small smirk played at his lips.

“Caught you at a bad time, Pudding?” He teased. 

You ushered him in, squeaking out that you had lost track of time and that he could wait in the living room whilst you quickly showered. Kenma chuckled and did as he was told. 

You left to shower as Kenma sat on the sofa, looking around to admire the room. He felt comfortable, despite the circumstances and he revelled in how much the room smelled of your natural scent. He tapped his knee a little anxiously as he waited for you to return; he wanted to get tonight right. 

You eventually came back, hair still a little damp from your shower. You had gone for jeans and a simple shirt. It was a little casual but the idea of dressing up seemed silly now. 

“Would you like to come through to the kitchen?” You asked. “Dinner is nearly ready.” 

Kenma stood to follow you to the kitchen before taking a seat, as directed, by the counter. 

“It smells amazing, Pudding.” 

You blush at his compliment, shifting to serve up the food. You put the plate in front of him, a glass of water next to it as you then move to sit beside him. There is silence at first but you find it isn’t uncomfortable as you both easily fit into each other’s company and start eating. You eventually fill the silence with idle chit chat, the conversation flowing easily between you. You tell him about your job and the progress you’ve been making and he tells you how his own business has taken off, hence the move to the UK. The gaming company he worked for based there. 

You talk and talk until your plates are empty. You clean up, continuing to chat as you go. You both move to the living room, your glasses of water switched to a small wine each as you lower to sit next to each other. You sit closely, your thigh resting against his. Eventually the conversation naturally dies down and you both find the other staring. You watch his eyes and there’s something silently spoken between you. An understanding and warmth spreads across you and you find yourself breaking eye contact to look at his lips. 

“Pudding…” He whispers, voice husky and low.

“I know…” You whisper back.

Your lips connect and it’s like everything is fixed in that moment. The world doesn’t matter as his soft mouth moves against yours. It’s loving, soft, emotional. It’s Kenma. 

You pull back with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering open to see golden eyes already watching you. The gap between you is small and you feel his sharp breaths mingle with yours. 

You connect again and this time Kenma shifts to face you, moving one hand to cup your face as he deepens the kiss as the other rests on your hip. You feel a simmering fire from each of his touches and move your own hands to gently grip into his hair. You gasp as he swipes your bottom lip and he takes that to his advantage, moving his tongue in to dance with yours. Unlike before in your relationship, he is almost demanding with his kiss and you let him take control of it, enjoying his confidence. He guides his hand from your face to lightly drag his finger along your chin, down the skin of you neck and along your collar bone, making your skin pimple and another gasp to escape your lips. He pulls away to look at you, his eyes filled with lust and love.

“I want you, Pudding.” He breathes out to you and you have to hold back a whimper at his words because, Gods, you want him to.

“Bedroom is down the hall.” You say in response. 

He stands, taking you with him and you wrap your limps around him. Your arms circling his neck and your legs, his waist. You both just look into each other’s eyes as he guides you out of the room. You let out a giggle as Kenma stumbles a couple of times and narrowly misses stepping on Sammy. For once, it’s he that blushes as he let’s out a small curse from tripping but he eventually makes it to your bedroom. He lowers you onto the bed with such care, as if you were a doll. 

You stay sat up as he gently pulls your shirt up and over your arms. He leans in to kiss you as his hands leave feather like touches up your sides, goosebumps following the line. He moves his kisses from your lips, down you neck and to your chest. He guides you to lie onto you back as his kisses turn a little harder, the pecks becoming nips and gentle sucks on your skin as he moves himself down and across your chest, leaving teasing licks over your nipples as he goes. He plants open kisses down your stomach and as he reaches the waistband of your jeans, he gently hooks his fingers into them and tugs them slowly down your legs. He guides your underwear with them. He stands as he pulls them off you fully, throwing them off to the side. You lay back, completely exposed to him and can’t help the heat that spreads from your face and down your chest from his stare.

“You are so exceptionally beautiful, Pudding.” He says breathlessly as he drinks you in.

“So are you.” You whisper and you mean those words with a conviction that has your heart clenching because this man truly was stunning. Both inside and out. He was just so perfect. So…Kenma.

You sat up again, moving your hands to unbuckle his belt as you kept your head tilted up to watch him. He let you take his jeans off, his bulge now prominent in his boxers. You ignored them for now, moving to stand. You wanted to make him feel as loved as he should. You copied his actions, lifting his shirt up and over his arms as he moved to assist you. Between clothing you both just watched each other, your breathing almost calm as you took each other in. You eventually guided his boxers down too, planting a small kiss to his thigh as you did. Not meant to be teasing but an intimate gesture as you undressed him. Once he was fully naked you stood back up. For a moment, you both just stood there, the only sounds filling the room was your breathing. The room was lit only by moonlight and it cast Kenma in a beautiful glow, his eyes appearing even sharper as he watched you.

Kenma eventually moved to clasp one of his hands in yours as he took a step forward, gently knocking you back on to the bed. You crawled backwards to make space for him and Kenma crawled towards you like a cat to his prey as he eyed you. He began kissing up your thighs as he moved, making your breath hitch. He left marks this time, sucking at the sensitive skin. He gripped your thighs with his hands as he spread you open. He kissed up until his breath brushed over your sex. You were more panting rather than breathing now as you watched him. He your sex a kiss, keeping eye contact with you and you let out a low moan. 

“Does my Pudding want to feel good?” He asked, a teasing glint forming in his eyes. You felt a little shock at his words. Kenma had never been one to talk much in bed before, let alone be teasing and you found yourself nodding almost frantically, excited already from the anticipation. 

Kenma kissed at your thigh again before leaving a gentle, reprimanding bite.

“Use your words, Pudding.” 

Your breath hitched and your body shuddered in response to his words. 

“Yes… I would like to feel good.” You whispered. “I want you to make me feel good.” 

He smirked before sticking his tongue out and licking you from the bottom of your sex, up to the top where he then teased a circle around the sensitive skin.

You let out another moan, this one much louder than the last as your hands flew into his hair. 

He continued to move his tongue in circles on you as his fingers made there way to your entrance and he lubed them up with his spit before easily pushing two in. You were so aroused, and you clenched around his digits, loving the sensation. Loving how right he felt. He continued to play with you, pulling small moans and whimpers from you as he took his time opening you up. 

Kenma then gently pulled his fingers from you and kissed your sex. You let out a whine at the loss but Kenma moved up to kiss your lips, silencing any complaints. 

“I want you to cum with me inside you.” He whispered into your ear, nipping lightly at the lobe. 

You pulled your arms to wrap around his arms and back as you spread your legs. 

“Make love to me, Kenma.” Your words came out breathy and needy as you throbbed for him to be inside you. 

Kenma nuzzled his nose against yours as he held either side of your face, his elbows supporting his weight as his entire body draped over yours. He moved his hips down and you felt his cock poke at your entrance. You moved one of your hands to wrap around him and guide him into you. He let out a stuttered gasp as he slowly sank into your warmth, savouring each inch as he took his time pushing into you. 

Once he was fully sheathed in you, he littered you face in gentle kisses. You didn’t say anything, just enjoyed the sensation of feeling so full and Kenma’s body heat radiating into you. You felt safe and overwhelmingly in love. 

He eventually started moving his hips, keeping a gentle, almost lazy pace as he fucked you. You let out a moan as he moved, his pace meaning you spasmed at every movement, your body clenching for more. He took his time, savouring your body as his hips gently rocked into you. His kisses got wetter as he made your lips swollen and neck red. 

“Please go faster.” You begged, enjoying the sensation but the build up of heat in your abdomen was so slow it was almost torturous. 

Kenma looked down at your face, it was twisted in pleasure and a few small frustrated tears were perched on your lashes.

“You look so beautiful when you beg, Pudding.” Kenma breathed, picking up his pace ever so slightly but it was still kept steady, just fast enough for the pleasure to build. 

His hips kept rocking into you as his gasps and quiet moans filled your ears as he moved to rest his face in the crook of your neck, his own body twitching slightly as he enjoyed the feeling of your clenching hole around him. 

Your orgasm built up slowly, creeping from your stomach and sending heat up your spine. Your legs began to feel tingly and your breathing came out in gasps. When it did finally hit you; it wasn’t with a crash. It didn’t make you scream or tremble; you didn’t feel out of control. It tumbled over you like a gentle wave, making you feel light headed as it slowly washed over you. It seemed to last forever, each slow thrust stretching it out. Your mouth staying a gape as you contracted around Kenma. A few slow thrusts later and he followed you, gasping into your ear as he kisses your cheek and down your neck. You could feel the warmth as he filled you and it made your legs wrap around him tightly, holding him impossibly close.

After a few moments he lifted his head to look into your eyes, his own were slightly watery, filled with emotion.

“I love you so much.” He whispered against your lips.

And just like that, everything fell into place. 

No, it wouldn’t be perfect and there were definitely going to be difficult times but this time… this time you would work through it. You would fight like you always had but this time you wouldn’t be alone. You would go to battle with Kenma at you side. You whispered your love for him back, knowing the ride wasn’t going to be easy but that was okay.

It was okay because happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.


End file.
